Creating a New Normal with Essence-Rich Opportunities

If you think back to re-entering the world, post-pandemic-lockdown, you were likely eager to return to some of your old routines and habits. But I’d like to invite you to take a moment to revisit everything you put on pause during that time. This “reopening” of the world offered a perfect opportunity to open up more space in your life for what I call “essence,” which I talked about in a previous post. But it’s never too late to start creating a new normal with essence, even now.

What Is Essence?

Essence is the feeling-experience a form holds for you. That form might be a material object, a trip or an outing, or a relationship. Whatever form it inhabits, essence can shift. For example, you might love a necklace because someone you care about gave it to you. But if your feelings about that person were to change, the essence qualities of both that necklace and the relationship might no longer be there.

So, consider the things you do that aren’t particularly essence-rich anymore (or maybe never were). What “empty” forms in your life can you let go of – objects, routines, or even relationships? This will open up more space to invite in essence-rich things and experiences instead.

How Essence Can Help You Make Decisions

Life is a feeling experience, which means that your quality of life depends absolutely on how you feel about it. Wisdom comes in being able to identify the essence – the feeling-experience that you want to have – and then making decisions in line with that essence. It’s as simple as asking yourself: what do I want to get out of this in terms of a feeling experience? Healing? Stamina? Adventure? Creativity? Sustainability? Peace?

Life is a feeling experience, which means that your quality of life depends absolutely on how you feel about it. Click To Tweet

Even if you’ve established something of a new normal, you may have more choices about engaging with the world than you think. Rather than just taking things for granted, you can decide how you want to move forward to stay aimed at a more fulfilling life.

For example, consider dressing up for work. How do you feel about that now that you’ve had a break from it? If it now feels like a burden, how can you make a decision that is more essence-rich? Maybe ditch the heels for comfortable shoes, trade in dresses for slacks, or see if you can work from home a few days a week. For every new decision you make, try to focus on creating a new normal in line with essence.

Identify the Missing Essence

During the COVID lockdown, there were plenty of things I thought I missed. But in reality, I didn’t actually miss the act of shopping with friends. I didn’t miss working out at the gym or dinner parties. What I missed was the essence-rich feelings these experiences gave me.

So, first, identify the things you miss in your life. Then, determine the missing essence. Is it community? Connection? Contribution? Ease?

Consider the essences of things that are more complex expenditures of your time, money, and energy. For example, with an eye to travel, are there simpler ways you can experience the essence of enjoyment, discovery, or renewal? Do you need to go all the way to Europe, or might there be opportunities requiring less travel, money and effort? Could you even create more essence with more frequent, shorter trips?

If you’ve gone back to the same gym or studio, was this the best choice? If you’re not sure how to make this decision, consider how you feel about the instructor. How do you feel while there? Afterwards? How do you feel about the other people who also go there? What exactly is the essence you’re looking for with this membership (Well-being? Transformation? Balance?) Ask yourself if that “form” is delivering essence or not.

Maybe you joined a club in search of community, but you don’t actually find it there. For whatever reason, the other people just aren’t a fit. Rather than sitting in the ashes of your disappointment – either by sentencing yourself to attend or by giving up on clubs altogether – move on and seek a group that is more essence-rich for you. When you focus on essence, and letting go of anything that doesn’t deliver it, you avoid getting stuck in forms that do not truly serve you. And you can create a new, more fulfilling normal instead.   

Be Mindful of the Essence Quality You Want

Even with an activity as simple as a walk, determine the essence quality you want. is it mobility, spontaneity, perseverance, detachment? Then as you set out, allow yourself to determine if the walk is rich in this essence or not. If the walk isn’t delivering as you’d hoped, give yourself permission to turn around and go home. Of course, if the essence you’re looking for is perseverance or doing something for your well-being, then encourage yourself to stick with it. Essence is all about determining what you want to get out of the experience and being mindful if you’re getting it. If not, it’s about being flexible enough to make changes.

By focusing attention on your essence feeling-experience, moment-to-moment, you can increase your quality of life right now in small ways. For example, ask yourself: am I doing this robotically? Or am I getting something rewarding enough from this that I want to continue doing it? After all, when something is rewarding, you are now better positioned to consciously enjoy it, as well as to experience genuine gratitude.

And when you find yourself in a situation that has no essence, try putting your attention on the essence you would like to have. If you can identify the missing essence, you can use this to guide your choices moving forward. When you can recognize that the essence of enjoyment or willingness or freedom is not here right now – but also that you want those things – you now have a goal. And rather than focusing on how empty the current experience is, you can focus on making more essence-rich choices for creating a new normal moving forward. When you know what it is that you actually want out of your life, you can take the right steps toward bringing more of that into your day-to-day.